Single Parent Seeking Help: Finding a Co-founder

*Continued from last post*

There it was, I finally had my great idea. Pages and pages of my favorite notebook were splattered with red and black ink. Paragraphs and graphs alike were scribbled on the pages like some sort of mad man. With each stroke of the pen, things seemed to change and so did my ambition for the idea itself. The chaos of it all was as maddening as it was seductive, getting lost in a deep web of thoughts that needed to all be wrote down to make sense.

After hours and hours of what I thought was detailing every bit of my idea on the papers, I needed someone to look over it all. Now, there are only a few things in this world I hate more than a yes man. A yes man to me is nothing short of a parasite that believes their concurrence will yield some sort of gain. They provide little to no significance to a conversation and solely appeal to people’s habit of surrounding themselves with normalcy and comfort.

You’d be surprised how many people in your contacts and friends fall under that category of people. It took me about ten calls and meetings before I realized this, and required me to change my thinking to find people that would tear my idea apart. So, I called the most cynical people I know, my longtime friend from the previous post.

I shot my friend a call and what ensued was nothing less than the most tedious conversation I have had to date. Now, the way he handles conversations is masterful to say the least. No matter what sentence comes out of your mouth, he questions it. You could be stating why your coffee was good, and he would question it for a solid half hour to get the full perspective as to why you thought that.

We finished the small talk and got right down to business. He respectfully let me finishing pitching my ideas, seemingly jotting down his thoughts and questions on paper, before taking part in the conversation. My friend was not one to ridicule, but this man just asks so many damn questions it feels as if his cynicism is his defining approach to a conversation. One question after another, I tried my best to answer all his questions and ask follow up questions for his advice. The amount of thought he put into the responses didn’t seem feasible for the time it took him to respond. His sincerity was felt with every word; his passion seemed to fill my spirits.

By the end of the conversation, it seemed as if my friend was better off taking this idea to fruition. He had an extensive tech background and had a network of connections that consisted of programmers, people in the industry, and general businesspeople. At this point I had told him every detail of my plan, every option I had to pivot my failure into a potential success. My friend could have used my blind trust to completely screw me over.  He could have created this monstrosity of an idea, leaving me in the dust.

While we were finishing up on the phone, I knew that I wanted him to join me on this project. It only made sense to bring him on. The way he questioned and seemingly doubted everything made him a vital resource in making sure the product was successful as possible. The way he spoke with such zeal over the smallest of details and the way he constantly emitted this sheer sense of optimism even when critiquing me, made me decide to take the leap and ask him to join.

But he beat me to it. Just as I took a deep breath to gather myself before jumping off the cliff of potential rejection, he asked if he could join. The pit in my gut was quickly released, as did the breath filling my now expanded lungs.

To this day, that friend is by my side. It doesn’t matter if we are working on our main project or our countless side projects, I can always count on him to help me out in any way possible.

What has paid off in the long-run has not been my friend’s core intellect, his absurd knowledge of our field, or his connections without end. It has been simply who he is. I’ve come to realize that someone’s character is the most important part of choosing a business partner. Everything else just seems to be fluff.

The best way to sort of visualize a business partnership is imaging you have a child with this person. This child named Idea is a newborn baby that you may not know how to raise. There are plenty of people out there that may know how to raise your Idea, but will they help you truly make it a success?

It seems that knowing how to raise your child Idea by the books, doesn’t always work. It takes passion, persistence, realism, optimism, discipline, thoughtfulness, integrity, absurd commitment, support, and leadership to make sure Idea grows up to succeed. You haven’t seen someone’s absolute truest colors unless you’ve either had a child with them or started a company with them. Your partner’s intelligence isn’t going to give you a reason to put in long hours throughout the night, and it sure as hell isn’t going to keep you positive and on task when you are facing crisis.

Trust someone’s character over their intelligence. You want someone to be committed to your Idea even when you aren’t. You want someone that will withstand the countless character tests that starting a company throw at you, and stand up after you all get knocked down.

You’ll have those down days when you are too tired or too unmotivated to get out of bed. Your Idea won’t seem important enough to get out of bed for, and you’ll find inspiration in your partner. You won’t want to let them down because of how much they have given you and your Idea. This whole crazy entrepreneurship thing requires a bond stronger than marriage sometimes, remember that and proceed with caution. Trust your damn gut and go with their character, you’ll be surprised how simple it really is.

-Memento Mori